A parent on Reddit recently asked other moms and dads to do just that, to ‘fess up to the most unusual reasons they’ve ever recorded on the school absentee log. Some of the answers are pretty priceless.
1. “She won’t be in today because the floor is lava and she can’t get out of bed.”
2. “My child is fine but my other child puked on me and after showering twice today he puked on me again and now i have to shower a third time and i’m just going back to bed and i’m gonna let the kids watch tv, so they’re not coming to school.”
3. “We’re skipping school to go watch the total eclipse a few states away.”
4. “Youngest will be absent due to an allergic reaction to either poison oak or poison ivy. He was chased by an enraged beaver through the underbrush and now he looks like a leper.”
5. “Took my kid in late one morning and was happy to see that everyone used the same excuse, ‘The Super Bowl.’ Since we live in Atlanta I’m pretty sure every tardy was excused that day.”
6. “Son won’t be in today. He was playing NERF guns with Dad and ran full force into the corner of the bathroom door. He now has a black eye and I’ll be keeping an eye on him today.”
7. “We’re late today because there was an FBI drug raid in one of our neighboring apartments, and all the cops blocked my car in the parking lot.”
8. “Poor parenting. Sorry, I tried to come up with a good excuse but the fact is Its 7:56 and I woke up three minutes ago.”
Poor parenting. That’s about as brutally honest as it gets!